Finding Common Ground Ain't So Common

Want to resolve conflicts effectively? Discover the art of finding common ground in conflict resolution and improve your communication skills today.

Finding Common Ground Ain't So Common
finding common ground in conflict resolution

The last custody fight I had with The Kid’s father, let’s call him B, was when she was 17 years old. This dispute began approximately in January, the month she was born, and went into August, when we finally went to a custody conciliation. We ended up settling and avoiding trial, which saved us both time, energy, and money. It also saved The Kid from having to speak to the judge … yet again … why she did not want to live with her father.

Want to resolve conflicts effectively? Discover the art of finding common ground in conflict resolution and improve your communication skills today.
MidJourney prompt: commercial photograph, a woman holding her head and yelling, on black isolated plain, tack sharp, highly detailed skin, --no tattoos, --ar 5:4 --v 5 --s 250

Of course the reason I’m bringing up negotiations right now is because of Dominion v. Fox News’s landmark mediation that resulted in a $787.5 million deal. That’s a whole lot of potato chips. In fact, that might be the entire spud farm.

In January, I received a job offer in Arizona. I told B that The Kid wanted to move with me. The Kid also went to college for her junior and senior year, and she did so online.

If you understood the critical part of the proceeding paragraph that she did not need to physically be anywhere, then you understood more than B.

His solution was for The Kid to live with him. Okay, so I understand his sentiments. He didn’t want her to be away from him. We unsuccessfully kept going around the merry-go-round because I’d say she wanted to live with me, and he’d say she could live with him.

Until I filed for a change in custody, and we ended up in conciliation in August, a week before school began (a month before we were set to move).

The conciliator made two major mistakes that almost cost us the negotiations. The first was that he really pissed me off to the point that I almost said no to a deal just because I was so pissed off. The second was that he insulted our child, which pissed us both off. The first thing we learned in mediation training is that you are not supposed to piss anyone off.

But despite the conciliator’s many, many flaws, he did get one point across: that’s something that I like to refer to as the “point of no return.” The reason why the parties do not want to go to trial.

In this case, the conciliator told B that there would be no judge in our state that would not allow The Kid to move to Arizona with me. And we have settlement talks, folks. Sometimes, all it takes is that one person who kicks you in the ass and tells you that you are being an ass.

What happened to Arizona, you ask? Well, The Husband and I decided we didn’t like it.


This week, we have a free book giveaway Thrillers, Enthralling Thrillers. The Steven Moore action thriller starter library, complete with 3 novellas, looks good.

I’ve also paired up with The Sample to help get some referrals to this newsletter. Each morning, The Sample sends you one article from a random blog or newsletter that matches up with your interests. When you get one you like, you can subscribe to the writer with one click.


I'm currently reading Save the Cat! Writes a Young Adult Novel (affiliate link) by Jessica Brody. I really like the Save the Cat! series of writing books, so I agreed to write a review on NetGalley even though I don't write Young Adult novels.

If you come to my Substack page, you’ll notice a new, pinned post up at the top. I decided to write a monthly recap of the trending legal news.

You’ll also see the new format, which I ripped off from last week’s freebie version, wherein I add a link to the legal-ish post instead of combining the two. Gmail and Apple email don’t really like such a long email. Anyway, you can read about mediation (that’s not meditation, despite how many times Google gives me results on sitting in a yoga pose for 15 minutes every morning).