Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse

A couple of years ago, someone told me about the CDC zombie preparedness disaster kit, which I thought was quite tongue-in-cheek funny (especially for a government agency). The Federal government, seeing that the imminent zombie danger has passed, retired the page.

I will argue that the zombie apocalypse is still alive (hahaha!) and strong. I am referring to people who don’t pay attention to anything around them because they are texting. Or playing Pokémon Go!

I remember dropping my daughter off at school. As people from the U.S. would testify, we have painfully slow school zones, wherein the driver must go 15 miles per hour. (Although, that very rarely happens. The driver in The Kid’s car accident #1, for example, was going like 75 miles per hour in her school zone. And very conveniently cut out the part of his dash cam video that showed him zooming by the speed limit sign.)

Anyways, I remember that driving through the elementary school was a breeze, despite the very long “walking train” lines of exuberant children either going to or from school. Ahhh, the innocence of youth.

Then, I hit (hahaha!) the high school. And I had to dodge texting teenagers crossing the street like I was playing Frogger. Without any warning whatsoever, teenagers would randomly step into oncoming traffic. They were skilled enough texting while walking to transverse the sidewalk curb, but not skilled enough to avoid a car. It was the driver’s job to avoid texting teenagers, not the other way around. Personally, I think this puts waaaaay too much trust into the drivers …

I often had to slam on my brakes. And even at 15 miles per hour, braking hard causes a NOISE. And yet, these young ones didn’t even bother looking up to see their own impending doom. They just kept texting.

Fast forward a few more years, and I nearly killed a teenager the other day. This girl, for whatever inexplicable reason, decided to not only step into oncoming traffic (NOT in a school zone), but also stopped in The. Middle. Of. The. Road. to take a selfie of herself.  She almost got a selfie of herself dying, even if she wasn’t aware of such event.

Or maybe she was filming herself walking across said street for her Tik Tok channel, congratulating herself on doing such a wonderful job of not dying that day.

Oh, and those elementary school children? They have now turned into zombies, too.

The Book Promos

This newsletter, we have a slew of free books to advertise! Check them out, and get your newest summer read … for free!

Mystery/Thriller Mid August Giveaway

Free Horror Books … not so sure what the banner has to do with free horror books, but okay.

Another Horror Giveaway … yeah for horror stuff!

Thrilling the Reader

Summer Suspense/Mysteries/Thrillers

Free August Escapes … a little bit of everything here for everyone!

Happenings

I’ve been reading some Stephen King, specifically Lisey’s Story. I’ve wanted to read this book for a very long time, and I am hugely disappointed in it. It’s flat-out hard to get into. The writing is all over the place, almost as if Mr. King had a stroke whilst at the keyboard, but his editor didn’t want to question whatever drivel was written because it is Stephen King. I haven’t gotten past the first three chapters to tell you if the rest of the story is any good.

I picked up Lisey’s Story to avoid reading Misjudged by James Chandler, which I thought would be good because it was about a disabled-veteran-turned-attorney. But so far, I totally misjudged it. (See what I did there?) It’s got over 19,000 reviews, mostly positive, which proves that Kindle readers are starved for legal thrillers, even if said legal thrillers should be put in the trash.

Prepare For a Zombie Apocalypse: Your Toolkit

Are you prepared for the worst-case scenario? It's important to be ready for anything, especially when it comes to the zombie apocalypse. Yes, you read that right. With the recent surge in movies and TV shows depicting a world overrun by zombies, it's never been more important to have a plan in place.

I'm going to go a little tongue-in-cheek here. But just in case you get swarmed with zombies, I got you covered with these 5 essential tips for zombie apocalypse preparedness.

Understanding the Threat

Before we dive into the tips for zombie apocalypse preparedness, let's first talk about understanding the threat. Zombies are not real, but the idea of a zombie apocalypse can help us prepare for other disasters. The basic idea is that a virus or other pathogen spreads rapidly, and people infected with the virus become zombies. These zombies then infect others, and soon the world is overrun with the undead.

Note: a zombie apocalypse might be real if someone is texting and driving. Just sayin'

Essential Items for Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit

You need survival kit. This kit should include all the essential items you'll need in the event of a disaster. Here are some items you should consider including in your zombie apocalypse survival kit:

1. Water
2. Food
3. First Aid Kit
4. Tools
5. Communication Devices
6. Clothing and Bedding

Creating a Zombie Apocalypse Emergency Plan

Once you have your survival kit assembled, it's time to create a zombie apocalypse emergency plan. This plan should outline what you'll do in the event of a disaster. Here are some things to consider when creating your plan:

1. Evacuation Plan
2. Communication Plan
3. Emergency Contact Information
4. Medical Information
5. Escape Route

Preparing Your Home for the Zombie Apocalypse

You'll need lots and lots of plywood, a hammer and some nails ... oh, wait.

1. Secure Your Home
2. Stock Up on Supplies
3. Fortify Your Home
4. Create a Safe Room

Staying Informed During a Zombie Apocalypse

Keep up with the news and be aware of any potential threats in your area. You'll also want to have a way to communicate with others.

1. Listen to Emergency Broadcasts
2. Check Social Media – yes, even Twitter
3. Contact Your Local Authorities
4. Practicing Your Zombie Apocalypse Survival Skills
5. Conduct Drills
6. Learn Self-Defense
7. Practice Survival Skills

Common Mistakes to Avoid During a Zombie Apocalypse

Finally, let's talk about common mistakes to avoid during a zombie apocalypse. Here are some things you should avoid doing:

1. Panic
2. Trusting Strangers
3. Wasting Resources

Final Thoughts

Sleeping during the day ensures that zombies won't attack you.