So Queen Elizabeth II died a couple of weeks ago (on September 8, 2022). In typical me-fashion, I didn’t know until three or four days later when I did a mass reading of all my Skimm newsletters that had been piling up for three weeks.*
* This might or might not be a true statement. I now vaguely recollect that The Husband said something to me the day of, but in typical me-fashion, I wasn’t paying attention because the royal family is boring.
This funeral shut down the country and provided a huge security risk, which meant that several esteemed heads of state needed to arrive at the funeral by bus. Two such people were Japan’s Emperor Naruhito and Empress Masako. I should point out that they are also royalty. And since Emperor Naruhito is an emperor, he’s technically got a bigger title than the late Queen. He also has the added advantage of being alive. So … yeah … maybe they should have given him a car.**
By the way, I’m drinking some Earl Grey right now. With milk and sugah. See what I did there? That’s my fake British accent.
This begs the question of the day. If there were tons of people running around all over the place, and they had a huge security issue, how long did that bus have to wait in line to get to the funeral?
How long did it have to wait to get leave? I mean, I’ve been to a high school football game. Where you sit in line forevahhhh to even get out of the parking lot. I can’t even imagine getting out of this parking lot.
More importantly, was The Emperor’s New Bus like a city bus? Or was it more like a touring bus, with beds and … toilets … to accommodate their royal tushies? ‘Cuz what would happen if his royal highness Emperor Naruhito needed to go potty and had to wipe his royal ass while waiting in the royal line to leave the royal funeral? I imagine that if they didn’t have a bathroom, they wouldn’t be drinking no royal Earl Grey on that royal bus.
Aaaand all eyes were on that funeral. I’ve always thought Americans had an inexplicable fascination with the royal family. But I was wrong! Totally 100% wrong!!! According to several tweets … and we all know how reliable Twitter is … 5.1 billion people watched the funeral, which represents 63% of the world’s population. So that means the rest of the world is also obsessed with these guys, too!!! Yeah for us Americans.
Putting aside Prince Andrew’s Epstein sex scandals, what is not to love about the royal family? Riches, fame, titles, good clothing, lots of servants … the list goes on and on. (I’d say beauty, but … Prince Charles and Prince Williams. Yikes.) And we Americans love the shiny. If you don’t believe me, see how many Instagram followers Kim Kardashian has. And she only has a small shiny compared to the royal fam. (Lots of Americans would also say she has a royal ass. Or is a royal ass, idk.)
But since I do not care about the shiny, I had to look up why these people was so beloved.*** In doing so, I found out a few things about the cousins across the pond:
- You aren’t the king if you marry a queen, and you aren’t a queen if you marry a king. You are a prince and princess, respectively. There are a lot of princes and princesses, by the way, so they give out that title like shiny candy. Just in case a monarch were to die, and someone else has to take over doing absolutely nothing.
- The British call our American Revolution the “American War of Independence.”
- Speaking of our American War of Independence, the Boston Tea Party (what we Americans are taught kicked off the American Revolution) … is inaccurately painted in history books.
- You know that fake British accent you sport while watching The Crown? Turns out, their British accent is fake, too.
- Japan is #8 in world tea export. Hope the Brits made sure there was a bathroom on that bus.
** Or The Beast.
*** I’m going with they are shiny people. R.E.M. would approve.
We’ve got bunches of free book giveaways today. Grab up some free reads.
Just like it sounds, this has a bunch of non-fiction books.
Also just like the name sounds. Spooky season is about to begin, everyone!
For people who like some excitement in their reading.
In case you need something to pick up for the cooler weather by the campfire.
For those who want shorter bites of thrill, here are some short stories and novellas.
Here is an all-genre giveaway in case you don’t want horror or thrills.
I’m reading Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village by Maureen Johnson and Jay Cooper. I might not love the royal family, but I still don’t want to get murdered if I should happen to visit England.
I’m also listening to R.E.M. cuz, y’know, shiny, happy people.